An old man tries jiu jitsu

An update two months into my new practice

I joke a lot about my age. It’s one of my bits. I like to say, “yes I might be a bit out of shape, but at least I’m old.” It’s my way of playing down my physical fitness by referencing the fact that I’m pushing 50. In reality, pushing 50 isn’t that old and I should still be able to maintain a high level of activity and fitness if I make the right lifestyle choices. I hear there’s a guy nearly my age that is still doing well on the professional football field, so what’s my excuse?

About two months ago, I took on the challenge to start practicing jiu jitsu, and this feels like a good time to update on my progress. Let me give you some pointers should you decide to take the plunge and talk about what I like so far. But first, allow me to share with you how I got here…

The old if I can do it, anyone can do it yarn….

I smoked nearly a pack a day for 21 years. Marlboro reds, mostly. I quit in 2015 and never looked back. I found it surprisingly easy to quit on my 65th attempt. Over the ensuing years, I had kids. Kids make you fat. Literally, they make you fat. And I picked up a couple of compensatory bad habits, like too much snacking and the occasional cigar. I really really love my cigars.

Somewhere during that time I developed a thing called an abdominal hernia. It’s actually quite common among old men. It looks like cancer of the belly button. You get this little ball that starts to protrude out of your stomach. It’s totally benign, and for most men it’s not an issue at all. But mine grew and became uncomfortable. After a couple years it started to get intensely painful whenever I exercised. Like a dummy, instead of taking care of it, I stopped exercising.

This is where I was in late January 2020, when I finally went in for hernia removal surgery. I was an overweight, out-of-shape, ex-cigarette-smoker turned cigar smoker, with kids. That is not exactly Tom fucking Brady. Following my surgery, I used a work reward to get a free elliptical. Putting it together was my first official workout. (What a pain in the ass that was!)

My first workout on the elliptical lasted five minutes on the easiest setting. I had to take a couple of breaks in order to finish. I kept at it. Then Covid hit. At some point in the Spring of 2020, I was up to an hour on it. On June 13th, 2020, I went for my first run in years. I’ll never forget it, as I tripped a block in and superman dove onto the pavement. Classic. I got up, saw a few joggers coming towards me (of course…), dusted my bloodied self off, and finished my two miles. By the following June I had run over 500 miles.

But I hadn’t taken an unnecessary medical intervention, so I’m unhealthy and selfish…

In November 2020, looking for a way to increase my running endurance I was given a tip by a fitness guru about something called the Wim Hof method. That changed my life. Conquering the cold helped my embrace challenges in a whole new way. Fear became a motivator. Stress all but disappeared.

This newfound coolness under pressure helped me guide my oldest daughter into a martial arts gym this past summer. There, I met a jiu jitsu black belt that started training in Brazil under Renzo Gracie over 20 years ago. In spite of retaining several bad habits, I drew up the courage to ask him what was involved in getting started at my age. His answer was essentially, just show up. So I did.

Here’s five things I have learned so far:

1. There’s fitness, and then there’s fighting fitness

I thought I was in OK shape when I walked into that gym the first night. I could trot for a few miles. I could drop down and bust out 20 burpees whenever I wanted. On my 47th birthday I did 47 burpees, 47 mountain climbers, 47 push ups and 47 air squats. I thought that was pretty cool.

I barely lasted 47 seconds grappling on that mat. The black belt instructor had a fun time with me. He wouldn’t even let me have my bit about being old. Oh no, not when he’s over 50 himself and able to go all day. He started calling me “young man” just to emphasize it. The bastard wouldn’t let me have anything.

“Rolling” (essentially, three to five minute grappling bouts) are a central part of jiu jitsu training, and the last 30 minutes of our 90 minute classes are spent in this fashion, rolling several times with members of the gym. The struggle with another human is so much more difficult from a fitness perspective than I ever imagined. The first few classes, I needed a few minutes before I could walk to my car afterward. One night, I threw up in my mouth on the mat. Another night, I nearly threw up in the car on the way home.

The first month was the worst. I can usually make a five minute bout now without submitting from exhaustion. Part of that is learning to pace the fight and part is the increased stamina. The carry over into my personal fitness is extraordinary. I’ve wanted to run a marathon ever since that first day back on the pavement last June. Now it seems like a real possibility.

2. It’s effective

In no way am I a fighter. Like Lloyd Bridges’ history as a pilot, I’ve been in a lot of fights, but never won any.

Don’t worry, I have no plans to start fighting. But as a pure self defense activity, I’m not sure there’s anything better than Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ). It’s so effective! Let me tell you what happens when a person with no real fighting ability takes on a BJJ practitioner. It’s over, fast. I have witnessed it.

Part of the reason BJJ is so effective is there are so many different ways to force your opponent to submit, via chokes, arm bars, leg locks, wrist locks, and ankle locks. As Jocko says in this interview about the frustrations of starting jiu jitsu, after just a couple of months of practice, any white belt BJJ student should be able to defeat any fairly equal size person who lacks fighting experience. This is likely true, though I’m not knocking on my neighbors’ front doors looking for action.

3. It’s humbling

You have to leave your ego at the door because you are going to get beat. Over and over and over again.

At the gym I attend, the men in my age range are nearly all purple belts and higher. To become a purple belt in BJJ takes the average person 3-4 years. If a person is training 3 nights a week for 3 years, that person has “rolled” with another grappler around a thousand times. You are not going to beat that person. Likely ever.

BJJ is an extremely complex game. It is human chess. Imagine playing chess with a expert chess player when you are just learning the game. He will embarrass you. Then imagine you both keep learning and keep playing. Three years later, he’s still going to be beating you over and over again. This is what you realize as you continue to roll with people at your gym. It’s a humbling experience to understand that you may never beat the person you grapple with even if you stick with the game for years.

I try to remember why I joined the gym. It wasn’t to beat people up. Which is good, because I’m never going to beat these guys.

4. It’s deep

I like subjects that I can dig deep into. Austrian school economics drew me in because the catalog of knowledge is so extensive. I was a Phish fan for 30 years (and still am even though I am not welcome at their concerts anymore due to my vaccination status) because there are thousands of shows to listen to and each is unique. I love my cyber security career because it allows me to dig into network traffic in ways that few people understand.

And now I have a new hobby, learning the thousands of variations of BJJ positions and submissions. Even better, my new hobby can be satiated by watching thousands of free videos.

5. It’s gonna hurt

I wasn’t really prepared for what this game was going to do to my body. But it’s very much like any type of violent interaction in that there is a reason most people stop playing those sports before they turn 40. It starts to hurt more. A lot more.

In just two months I’ve already suffered a rib injury and a back injury. The rib injury prevented me from sleeping on my left side for about four weeks. Shortly after that healed, the back injury had me sleeping on the floor for a couple hours per night.

My wife thinks I am crazy. I probably am.

The fun thing has been trying to work through these injuries. I’m not interested in quitting or taking a long break, so I’ve rarely missed a class. At first, there were a lot of wimpy sounds coming out of me every time I got flipped or stacked. I was getting a little embarrassed at how lame I sounded. I’m getting better now at keeping it internal.

It’s all just an experience. It hurts, and then it’s over. Hey, Ghandi kept his spirits up while guards were kicking his head in. I can hang in there with some minor back pain while a 200 lb animal pins me to the mat as he tries to choke me out.

So this is how my journey with Brazilian Jiu Jitsu has started. I’m excited to see where it goes. If I can hang in there and not get too injured, I might start making some real progress. Until then, I am taking this approach…

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