As always, h/t to El Gato Malo, the inspiration for our rule of Covid safety:

without knowledge of a speaker’s priors, any sufficiently risk averse Covid practice is indistinguishable from parody.

I missed this one last week:

From the article:

"When you run faster, you spit out more respiratory droplets, so that's why we are trying to restrict heavy cardio exercises," Son Young-rae, spokesperson for the Ministry of Health and Welfare, said in a radio interview Monday.

Under the new regulations, treadmills are capped at 3.7 miles per hour, and music played over the gym speakers cannot exceed 120 beats per minute. 

If this wasn’t the “wisdom” of a public health official, would you be able to distinguish it from parody? Me neither.

Finally, and this is unverified, but I hear gyms are only allowed to play this song on repeat.